It's barely the middle of August, and although it will be another month at least before cool Autumn breezes grace my spot in the world, the kids are back at school. This morning two rode the bus off to intermediate school and two walked down the the elementary school. The other two start preschool tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow, for two and a half hours I will be alone. I will have the house to myself. I will have my thoughts to myself. I can open the pantry or fridge without someone declaring they are hungry and need a snack. I can sit on the couch without having someone ask me to read them a book. I can walk out of a room without someone instantly calling for me the minute I step out. I can even go to the bathroom in peace. For two and a half hours, I will be alone.
I used to feel guilty about the sigh of relief I let out when school starts up again, wishing I was a mom with the talent to always be "on" as a mother: homeschooling, letting the kids climb in bed with her every night, never too busy to read a book or listen to a complaint or work on a messy art project. But I know myself better now, and I know my kids. School is good for the kids. And me, I'm not anti-social or anything, but my personality has always leaned towards spending time alone with my thoughts, needing space to regroup and organize myself. Going for long periods of time when my thoughts are constantly interrupted is jarring to me. The school year brings balance, gives me enough space that I can feel collected enough to give my children more of myself when they are home than I am able to when I feel constantly bombarded by their needs.
I admire those women who homeschool and are with their children almost 24/7, and I admire the mom's who send their kids off to school every day with a hug and a kiss, and the knowledge that they are loved, priceless jewels that their mothers could not live without.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
So is this the first time they will all be in school for at least part of the day? What a change that must be! I can't believe kids are already heading back to school!
I've got two at home and it feels so odd to have 5 going to school. It won't be too long before mine are all in school too. I too, find that I am so grateful for the time that my kids are at school. They are most definitely happier with a focused learning environment.
Even though as a professional, I am a teacher, I could not do the home school thing. Like you, I admire people who do it well. There is indeed an art to sending them off to school well. You seem to be doing that. Hope you get the solitude you need!
hear hear! I agree with your last comment...
whatever works, I admire them for it and judge not!
Enjoy your silence, or your fridge, or your bathroom...just enjoy!
BG
Loved this post. I have struggled with the homeschool or not homeschool dilemna. I admire those that do, but I am not in a place where I can and do it well. I work for my business and my calling and my home and my kids...I could not do schooling justice, even though my degree is in education.
I loved your perspective and honesty. Thank-you.
Post a Comment