I yelled today. Yep. Yelled. Probably the neighbors heard me. Probably they felt their suspicions that I have more kids than I can handle were well founded.
I hated myself even as I was doing it. I hate yelling at my kids. It doesn't help any of us feel better. But it does light a fire on them when it's time for them to take care of their cleaning responsibilities.
I love my kids.
I love a clean and orderly house.
Which do I love more?
My kids, of course. But (there's always a but, right?) I can not keep track of all their homework, all their stuff, prepare meals, find matching shoes, return library books, and simply function in a way that does not leave me frazzled and stressed out with my home in shambles. And neither can they.
I feel like I am at a loss tonight. I don't want to have a clean house at the expense of my kid's self esteem, but I can not keep it all clean myself. Just a little help from each kid would make a huge difference.
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5 comments:
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I hate yelling too. I hate it the second I start. It's so hard. I hope things get better soon.
Oh, I yell sometimes too. It doesn't make me feel wonderful as a mother, but sometimes I get so exhausted and worn out that I forget better ways of coping with things. Yesterday, I yelled in public - just like one of those obese moms in Walmart! And to top it off, I did it in front of my mother.
Sigh.
Today is a new day.
So nice to hear I'm not alone. I don't like yelling either. And I want help around the house. Heck, I'd be happy if my kids got their clothes to a basket every other time they changed. Pigs I tell you, I gave birth to pigs.
Oh, hugs!!!
I'm sure my neighbors think I am a bedlamatic maniac when I finally do just snap at my kids. But I know, I get so frustrated when everything is everywhere sometimes... I just don't function well in a mess. My only comfort is that it won't last "forever", and I try to remind myself of that a lot, but it's NOT easy when you have just stepped on a stabbity toy! ;)
We ALL have those days. Provided the good moments outnumber the bad (which it sounds like they do) ... all is well.
We're human. It's important to remind yourself of that every so often ...
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