In Defense of Those Who Drive Big Cars . . .

I suppose that I am lucky. I am not used to rude behavior, from adults that is. So today I was caught off guard being on the receiving end of rudeness. For some strange reason I feel people should be civil to each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt. I am not claiming I am perfect, but I am really good at keeping my mouth shut when many would not. Mostly because I think it is in my own best interest to do so.

So what set this off? Just this small incident:

I drive a very large van. Unlike many of the more streamlined mini vans with the automatic sliding side doors on both sides, my maxi (yes, it is really called that, giggle giggle) van only lets the passengers exit on one side, and all the doors swing out. Being that all passengers that exit per these wide swinging doors are under the age of eleven, as a courtesy to the car in the space next to ours, I tend to park as far to the left of the (usually much too small) parking space as possible. This ensures that the doors aren't smacked into the car next to us resulting in physical damage to the neighboring car and financial and emotional damage to our family. This also results in my not being perfectly centered in the parking space.

There obviously has to be a decent amount of space on the driver's side also so I can get out. I am an average sized person, so I figure if I can crawl out of our monster sized vehicle with out touching the car on my side, it shouldn't be a problem if the other car has a passenger for said passenger to get in or out. Heaven forbid I should make it so the driver might have to pull out of the parking space to let the passenger in. The inconvenience! It would be much better to sacrifice the side panel of the auto on the other side of me.

So today I broke the cardinal rule and parked on the line. Mind you when I pulled into the space I was not judging where my van was in relation to the lines, but rather the cars on either side. I thought I was quite courteous to eliminate possibilities of damage to both cars.

The passenger to the car on the drivers side, however, made it clear that she was quite disgusted with me. I was sitting in my van waiting for my kids to all be settled in with seatbelts fastened. As I sat a woman came out of the business with the driver of the car. She eyed the space between the cars the way a teenager looks the competition for a prom date up and down, then made eye contact with me. At first I was confused. Then I realized what her problem was. I am embarrassed to admit that for a split second I wished I could let myself say, "It's okay dear, I think you can fit. Your hips aren't that wide." But of course I have a conscience. I'm above that. I have kids within earshot. And it would just make things worse anyway.

The woman then proceeds to say to her friend,"I think I can fit," and then, rather loudly as she (without undue difficulty) gets into the car, "Don't you hate it when people park on the line!"

So now that I have vented a bit I must ask the question, Why? Why be so rude? Did it make any difference? Did it make me want to follow her and beg her forgiveness for not thinking that parking on the line automatically results in not enough space to get into a car? Did it make her better than me? Did it make her right? Is it going to change my parking skills? Only if it changes the size of my van.

So to those out there who are irritated by the big cars that have to park in the average sized parking spaces, give us a break. We are not trying to pin your car in. We are not trying to make your life miserable or inconvenient. I for one am trying to spare you the inconvenience of going to the body shop! We are not purposefully trying to squeeze into tight spaces, rather we often drive around the lot a couple of times scouting out a space that is adequate. The only reason I don't park on the outer rim is for the sake of having my children spend the least amount of time walking through a parking lot as possible. So, please, think twice before giving me the evil eye, 'kay? It will make both of our days more pleasant.

I must mention that there are a lot of really nice people out there who wait very patiently while I stand with the doors open and buckle the twins in, blocking the path to their car. There are people who refrain from honking when I have to make a six point turn where most people make three point turns. There are even people who will take the time to signal me that I can back out of my space farther without hitting another car. There are people who realize that life isn't perfect and we just have to deal with it sometimes. Thank you to all those nice people. And thank you to all the people like me who sometimes want to say something rude, but think better of it. It makes a difference.